Nearly all of television portrays attraction between men and women. It is part of human interaction. The problem is often times actors give us a skewed, unrealistic perception of how it happens between men and women when we watch it. The scary thing is we have all been at least a little conditioned through sitcoms, films, soap operas and even the not-so-real reality tv. Most times we don't realize it.

I have always watched loads of tv and movies....ever since I was little. I was forming my thoughts on the world and relationships based on watching media. And for the most part, I think it was a hindrance for my game. Think about all those movies where the quiet, shy, yet uniquely cool guy pines after some gorgeous girl and after some conflict usually involving another douche bag, she comes around and they fall in love. Almost like a fairy tale. Because I could identify with 'that' guy, which I think a lot of guys can, I thought that if I just kept being him, that it would just work out. But in real life it rarely ever ends this way. Unless that guy decides to learn about women, attraction, body language, he will enjoy the same level of success he always has.

Which illustrates an important point about whatever you have in life. You cannot expect things to change for the better if you are not making an effort to change them. Being shy, quiet but uniquely cute is not an effective strategy to meet women. I wish it were! I would have had much more success throughout my teens and early 20s. But it's just not how it works in real life! Hoping and praying are all fine and good..but if you truly want something, have to make it happen.

Another unrealistic thing I often observe in films is that I see in a lot movies that don't realistically portray the approaches. Often in film, when men go and approach women for whatever reason, the womens is already displaying receptive body language as if she is already into him. Don't get me wrong, occasionally this will happen granted you have near flawless body language and good looks. But for the rest of us, it doesn't happen this ideally. We have to display some value. We have to take advantage of our communication skills a bit more. James Bond movies are renowned for doing this. James will catch a beautiful women staring at him, he walks over to her and coyly whispers something sexual in her ear and from then on she is all over him. As I said before, it can happen like this, but rarely is does attraction happen so smoothly.

Although most are bad and don't represent reality, there are a couple movies that I feel do paint a more realistic picture. If you watch Wedding Crashers, Both Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn use something as close to classic textbook game as I have ever seen on the big screen. In the beginning in particular watch how Vince Vaughn goes from Demonstrating Value by doing balloon tricks for the kids to dancing with his 'target' girl. To which then he isolates her and builds a sense of connection talking about the philosophy of connectedness to which then he takes it physical. All of this is of course is done in a hilarious way but it portrays what I think of as a more accurate, proactive depiction of attraction. Another great movie to see is Don Juan Demarco. Johnny Depp creates a marvelous, seductive character that truly sees the beauty in all women. When you watch this one, observe his usage of imagery in how he describes the world and more importantly how he describes it to women. It's excellent stuff. Another good one to check out is the most recent remake of Alfie featuring Jude Law. Law emanates a natural charisma in this movie that is believable and as you watch, gets him many many women. Top Gun is another great movie to watch. Observe the sexual tension between Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis.

In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with watching films and tv even if they portray an inaccurate picture of how it happens in the real world. Just make sure to recognize IT ISN'T REAL, and for the most part doesn't represent reality. It's time we reprogram the way we think about attraction.

"Recognition is the first step towards enlightenment"

Labels: attraction, create attraction, seduction