Ok so, I'm going to attempt to type with my left hand (I broke my right wrist snowboarding) so please excuse me if there are any typos or errors...


I'm writing this for two reasons, first is because I had such a great time and I think theres a lot of value in sharing about my experience, and secondly, there were a few things that we did that allowed this trip to be as memorable as it was.

Labels: field report, seduction basics, Whistler

Labels: goals, inner game, psychology

I just found this crazy book that shows how our psychology influences our decision making. Here is the link to the book outline. Link. It's definitely worth checking out. Here is one excerpt I found especially interesting and applicable to the dating science.

Labels: inner game, psychology, seduction

I've finally finished it! My New Years resolutions and goals for 2009. It's going to be a nose to the grindstone sort of year and this will basically serve as the backbone for what's in store. Enjoy!

1) Work out at least four times a week
2) Eat healthy every single day; no dirty carbs, no late night snacks, less beer, eat 4-6 mini meals a day
3) Master Tantric Sex
4) Take 3 minutes a day and think of all the things you are grateful for
5) Finish E-book
6) Present material to live audience
7) Watch less television
8) Look for redeeming qualities in every person I come in contact with
9) Perform improv on stage to live audience
10) Write one love song
11) Do something you're afraid of every single day
12) Spread Attractology to the World
13) Leave the United States at least once
14) Smile and laugh as often as possible
15) Launch Attractology VIP course
16) Write on the blog at least twice a week
17) Meditate for at least 15 minutes a day
18) Be mindful and purposeful throughout the day when working
19) Optimize time spent on site/work
20) Live every single day as if it were your last
21) Never take yourself too seriously
22) Play guitar at least

I'll be getting these emailed to me every week so I can keep track of what I need to do and when. Expect an end of the analysis of 'what worked out and what didn't in 2009' . Though I've really got to say, I have this gut feeling 2009 is going to be a year of greatness!


Cheers,
Briddick (Dthomas)

Labels: goals, inner game, misc, New Year Resolutions, self development

It easy when first getting into this to read everything there is to read.  That’s what I did when I began, it started with Neil Strauss’ The Game and lead to an interest in David DeAngelo, posts on Fast Seduction and now have I accumulated material from most other Guru’s; some of which has been useful information.  (Side note: We’ve been compiling some guru interviews to share but that’s for another post.)

 

See, I approached learning about attraction with a fairly solid belief system intact but also an open mind willing to learn from experience.  I feel both of these were critical for success.  Sometimes what I was reading would challenge my belief system and when this would happen I would have three options.

1. Instantly accept what I was reading over my own belief system
2. Instantly accept my own belief over what I was reading
3. Go out with an educated open mind and learn from the experience

I continue to chose number three.

 

Bluntly put, guys that don’t succeed are either too gullible or too stubborn to go out and challenge their belief system with the experience necessary to progress.  Success will come from the combination of learning AND going out and being social, networking and leading a dynamic life.

 

To improve you must understand that progression will happen by reading but also doing.  Here’s how.  Read enough material to understand and challenge some of your ideas and beliefs without getting overwhelmed.  Go out and practice making note of what gets good results, and  then when you hit a sticking point come back and figure out what you can do to improve next time WITHOUT dwelling on the negative.  Mastery in any subject is a series of plateaus, persistence is essential.

 

That’s it for now, but as we move into 2009 no time is better to set some expectations and real goals.  Here are some goal setting tips I was just reviewing for myself, I find it valuable to set both personal and career related goals.

• Determine what you want to achieve
• Put the goal in writing
• Set a time deadline for the attainment of the goal
• Develop a plan and work the plan
• Visualize a successful result
• Maintain a positive attitude
• Measure your progress and make adjustments, where needed
• Persist until you reach your goal

Cheers.

Labels: attraction, inner game, PUA, seduction basics, sticking points

Have you ever heard the phrase...

"the best way to find something is to stop looking for it" ??

When I first heard this, I was infuriated and thought to myself "What a load of shit! If you want something, you have to get off your ass and do whatever it takes to get it. Forget this passive psychobabble bullshit!"

But lately, thinking about this phrase, I started to realize how much truth there actually is in it.

A lot of the times our minds are messing with us, telling us who we think we are and what we're capable of. We create all these labels and comparisons and we totem pole ourselves, putting others below us or above us based on a value criterion we've established in our minds. And what happens is when we are out in the club or whatever and we see a beautiful women, we think we need to do something to get her. We need to use a line. We need to have a swagger, a look, be a super pimp, etc./ because if we don't, then she will reject us....right?

And what is happening here is that we are basically telling ourselves that we aren't good enough the way we are and that more is needed to 'get the girl.' We put an social mask (often subconsciously) that we feel will make us appear BETTER than we actually are. In reality, there is no totem pole. We are the same with different strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities. But when the ego or self image takes hold, these social masks emerge and we think in terms of " I am' or "I am NOT"

Looking at it a different way, we see that whatever state we are in, social mask or not, our minds and bodies are giving off an energy frequency that touches and interacts with the surrounding environment including people.

I'm sure you've seen someone whose energy has effected an entire group of people in a positive or negative way simply by them being present. It's that powerful. And when we put on these social masks, we transmute an energy that doesn't align with who we are creating this sort of dissonant energy. And as you can probably imagine, this tends to have an opposing effect on attracting women. It simply doesn't work. When you approach, women can feel your discomfort with yourself and that creates discomfort in them. You take yourself out of the game, not on purpose but because you think YOU NEED MORE to be in the GAME. And you don't.

Mason and I had this great conversation last night where we talked about what defined 'good looks.' And in going back and forth and trying to define what it means to be physically attractive, we basically came to the conclusion that good looks stem from about 90% energy and 10% style/grooming. There ISN'T a single person I can think of who has confidence, authenticity and style who isn't seen as HOT in the eyes of a woman. And it's crazy because you see people who used to lack these qualities but have them now and it's like looking at a completely different person. There's a certain glow about them, an energy, a life force that accentuates a person who you knew existed before but you rarely saw. It's almost freaky to see.

But this all comes back to connecting with the inner self, connecting with your natural state of BEING. This is your most attractive state and this is your state where all of your potential arises from.

Of course, you might say "well alright. That's easy enough. I'll just be me." And yea, you might take this concept and just take off with it and get amazing results. But also recognize that the EGO has a way of sneaking in on us when we least expect it. And it can be so easy to reinforce an "I am" identity with the material world. I am short. I am tall. I am Ugly. I am rich, poor. I am better than him. I am not as good as him. It's so fucking easy.

And the only way to beat this is to become present and sync yourself up with the MOMENT. When you feel like shit, worthless or whatever, you have to EMBRACE the moment and accept it for what it is. Never resist the moment. Always accept it, laugh at it, indulge it and you'll find that, that authentic SPACE, that core self is always accessible.

And the more often you tap into it, the more your mind recognizes it as the norm. You actually bridge synapses, produce more 'feel good' hormones (dopamine, serotonin) by being and taking proactive measures. Think of it a body building for your spirit.

And it can it start right now. Stop resisting this moment, Stop trying to be and BE

Merry Christmas Everyone!
-Briddick

Labels: attraction, Ego, inner game, Spirituality, Zen

SO I just recently found this crazy iphone application that allows you to keep a gratitude journal on your phone. If you haven't been keeping up with the blog, I am constantly mentioning the benefits plus psychological research conducted on the effects that being thankful/appreciateive has on being more positive and ultimately more attractive. SO if you have an iphone, check this out...

http://www.happytapper.com

cheers,
Briddick (Dthomas)

Labels: happiness, positivity

Lately, I've been making a point to take it sexual as quickly as possible in my interactions with girls. Here is a Facebook thread I had yesterday with a girl I met once but don't really know. It's not perfect but there is definitely some value here.


(she initiates)
9:06pm Alea: hhey hows break so far?

9:08pm Mason: prtty good,... lotsa drinking and sleeping and eating, so i've gained like thirty pounds, but besides that it's terrific!... urs?

9:08pm Alea: lol oh geesh 30 lbs? trying to be santa?

9:09pm Mason: ho ho ho

9:09pm Alea: lol you weirdo. oh well thats what winter break is for.. to get fat. i'm following in ur footsteps

9:11pm Mason: so did you go home or r u still in corvallis?

9:11pm Alea: still in the lovely town of corvallis. haha i've been so damn lazy cuz the roads have sucked so getting out of bed just seemed pointless. i made cookies earlier, makin more right now haha

9:12pm Mason: what kind!?

9:12pm Alea: chocolate chip. i'm a huge fan of chocolate

(boldly sexual)
9:14pm Mason: omg... u don't understand, chocolate and sex are tied in my book... ideally i would have sex then eat chocolate, hahaha

9:14pm Alea: hahaha thats weird i dont know many guys who even like chocolate at all

9:14pm Mason: wut! that's insane... chocolate is the way to every man's heart!

(she complies with sexual frame)
9:15pm Alea: haha chocolate sauce and whipcream with sex is prolly good with u? haha are u kidding? i know like 50 guys who dont like it

9:16pm Mason: i would probably say mostly chocolate sauce... the whip cream wud just be for fun... like a whip cream fight!

(ignoring her 50 guys statement and staying in the sexual frame)

9:16pm Alea: haha whip cream and strawberries are good

9:18pm Alea: ooo they are all melty and gooey

(future projection proposal)
9:18pm Mason: ok so here's the plan alea...

9:18pm Alea: haha ok

(sexual future projection)
9:19pm Mason: we're gonna have a naked, chocolate sauce, whipcream and strawberry relay thru campus!... wut do u think?

9:19pm Alea: lol can i be clothed?

(she only half accepts, so break rapport...)
9:20pm Mason: hahahah i wasn't serious... but ok

9:20pm Alea: lol all im saying is id be down if i was clothed

9:21pm Mason: wud it bother u if i was naked?

9:21pm Alea: nah that works haha

(tease)
9:22pm Mason: o... ur gonna let me freeze all by myself, real cool alea lol

(innuendo foreshadowing)
9:22pm Alea: lol i'll have a blanket ready at the end and hot chocolate haha

(more bold sexual vagueness)
9:22pm Mason: sounds good... it might take more than a blanket to warm me up;)

9:23pm Alea: thats what the hot choclate is for haha

9:23pm Mason: exactly!!! haha

9:23pm Alea: haha u have a big imagination

(cut things off...prolly set up a date soon)
9:24pm Mason: yes i do... well it's been a pleasure chattin but i gotta bounce alea ciao

9:24pm Alea: byye
________________________________

So that's it. Shamelessly sexual, a little teasing, little future projection, finished with me cutting things off. The possibilities with text message/Facebook are endless.

Be Bold,
Mason Webb

Labels: sexual tension, text message

This blog is a response to FABIO, a member of our ATTRACTOLOGY community... About what I have done to dismantle and change the process of picking up women into something that is effortless…

To answer your question Fabio about breathing levels, and the physiological changes that occur through anxiety and nerves when approaching and "impressing" or attracting women, I would say that these things were a detrimental factor in hindering my game and others' and ALSO IN promoting positive change. I remember for awhile, when I would force myself to unnaturally go and talk to women, use routines that were unfamiliar, and unauthentic; I remember feeling like these women must think I'm a fraud, that I was tricking them through language (routines), despite the fact that my pulse was flying, I was sweating and nervous; there was something that wasn't right, I wanted my experience to be NATURAL... Even though at times I was successful.

There were two changes that I made and these two things made a world of difference for me.

For a long time, even during my professional soccer career, when I went out, my MOTIVATION or GOAL was to PICKUP a woman, get a few NUMBERS, and KISSES. My sole intent for being out and social was driven by this motivation, and what ended up happening (and this happened more than once) was that I found myself anxiously looking around for a set, and feeling like if I wasn't in a set, I was demonstrating low value, and so this cycle went (affecting my energy, ego, and aura). It wasn't as much fun, natural, and effortless as I wanted it to be.

So the FIRST thing I had to do was retrain my thinking process to HAVING NO EXPECTATIONS.

Though this seems simple, I think many people don't realize how difficult it is to do, especially if when you go out to a club/bar/coffee shop and picking up women is what you want to do. "I WANT TO PICKUP WOMEN, THEREFORE THIS IS MY SOLE PURPOSE FOR BEING HERE." This is what so many men fall into, we see people crowded around dance floors and bars, sipping there drinks and watching women, like hunters seeking out their prey. When we don't live up to our expectations we are let down, and for a lot of us, this hurts our egos, and we become more self conscious, and more careful or cautious. We also become more reliable on external, unpredictable or uncontrollable factors in dictating our emotions… this downward cycle is not helping us, it is hurting us, so LOSE ALL OF YOUR EXPECTATIONS!

What happens when we have ulterior motives (like picking up women), we can lose sight of how GREAT each moment IS!!! We become distracted by the flow of thoughts that say "you're not doing what you set out to do, therefore you MUST change what you’re doing NOW."

Our perception of our reality dictates what kind of energy we have, and the TYPE of THOUGHTS that come into our heads. If our energy is balanced, and positive, then our thoughts will be congruent.

So if we can perceive our PRESENT REALITY as PERFECT; this is when we are not concerned at all with anything else, we are exuding POSITIVE, ATTRACTIVE ENERGY, and this ENERGY is not forced, but NATURAL!!!!!! It is this energy that we want to embrace and then use in our interactions with women…

Most people who go out often will occasionally see a group of people that stand out amongst everybody; these are the people that are laughing really loud, pouring drinks down each others mouths, it as if these people are so comfortable and content with their reality that they don't care what anybody in the place thinks. They’re having a good time and nothing is going to change that.

These people do not EXPECT, and they are living in their own awesome, ATTRACTIVE reality

I think it's essential to have the belief that what you’re doing NOW, in this moment, is the PERFECT thing to be doing, "I don‘t want to be anywhere else but right here, right now!" If you’re driven to do something else, then DO THAT, but try your best to not think about it, just DO it…


"DON'T THINK, JUST DO" is the SECOND, and probably most important CHANGE in my game.

This idea is predominately based Eckhardt Tolle's living in the PRESENT MOMENT, and not letting your THOUGHTS distract you, or deter you from what it is you want or need at that moment, whether it's getting a drink, starting a conversation, it is again NOT THINKING JUST DOING... Below is a link to Tolle’s website in which he gives his philosophies on being PRESENT.

http://www.eckharttolle.com/eckharttolle

By DOING, we construct our own realities, and we don't leave time to second guess ourselves or the outcomes of situations we're in. When I was in British Columbia playing soccer, I had the great pleasure of having David Cox, a renowned sports psychologist who's worked with several professional athletes, Olympians, and high end business executives. Cox talked about the importance of having PROCESS thinking, over OUTCOME thinking. There’s a great video on the website below in which he explains this process outcome dichotomy a little more concretely.

http://edu2010.lldt.net/athlete/screeningroom.php?vn=spo_drdavidcox_108&ref=%2Fathlete%2Fprog_thezone%2Findex.php

For those of you that don’t get a chance to watch this video, Dr. Cox reinforced the notion of being Process oriented vs. Outcome dependent. To relate this to a soccer game, being process oriented would mean that I'm focused on doing one thing at a time, if I'm a striker, it might be making a run into a dangerous space, or taking a shot on goal. I'm not concerned with anything else but the current situation that I'm in, if we’re losing the game, I'm not focused on how we can win (outcome dependent) but what specific things I can do to move us toward VICTORY (the process).



In the ATTRACTION, being process oriented would mean that we are simply focused on DOING small things; 'there’s a cute girl, I like her energy, I'm going to start a conversation… (that's all the thinking that needs to be done to be process oriented) as opposed to "there's a cute girl, I like her energy, I'm going to seduce her. We can't expect to seduce, this is outside of our control, however we can put ourselves in a position to seduce…

IN SPORTS, according to Dr. Cox, we cannot EXPECT to WIN, we can only DO the small PRESENT focused things to help our team WIN, and if everybody does those things, WIN OR LOSS, the best OUTCOME will OCCUR… does anybody see the similarity here with my philosophy?

By losing your expectations, by not thinking, just doing, by getting involved and immersing ourselves in the PRESENT moment, we are able to stop the negative thinking and completely free ourselves from all negative physiological responses that happen while approaching women like ANXIETY, BREATHING, SWEATING, ETC.

I will conclude this blog, by leaving you with a statement that embodies what it is to be NATURALLY ATTRACTIVE.

"So here is my first gift to all of you that is everything that is eternally me, and the AWESOME energy that I have, this energy has the power to make your night BETTER, enjoy :)."


BE BOLD -Mason Webb

Holy shit, it is pouring down snow in the city. I think we probably have like 9 or 10 inches which is crazy seeing we only see traces of snow once or twice a year if any at all. But this is fucking sweet! In other news, my enthusiasm for snow will turn to hatred in approximately 15 hours if it does one of the following: prevents me from driving, makes places of interest closed due to weather, prevents me from leaving my house, causes a lack of motivation to do anything but watch tv and go insane. So hopefully it will snow a shit ton, but then magically warm up when I start to go crazy. Cross your fingers!


Anyway, moving on. The reason I am posting tonight is because I wanted introduce the newest member of the Attractology team. His name is Mason. He is a 22 year old professional soccer player. And he is also my brother. It would be easy to assume that I brought him onto the team simply because he is family but that far from the truth. Mason's game is ridiculous. Being a natural and a professional athlete, he has always had a variety of women in his life at any one given time. To watch him in a club or coffee shop... the guy is fucking insane.

In fact, a lot of the newer methodology we are starting to teach was adopted from watching Mason casually approach using NO OPENER or line and generate authentic attraction from a fun, simple, normal conversation. But what really made me consider bringing him on was watching his fellow (pro) teammates who claimed to be 'sooooooooo amazing with women' become floored as they observed these women passive aggressively fight to pull Mason home. One of these girls even cried because he didn't choose her. Absolutely insane!


So, Gabe and I talked about it. And seeing his new passion for understanding attraction and wanting to help other guys get this part of their lives figured out, we have decided to bring him on. Of course, you could be reading and say "well, why the fuck should I care?" The reason we are expanding our team is because we are planning some major upgrades in the site. I can't talk about it too much, but we plan to do a free college lecture tour and are in the works of setting up an online course. I'll be speaking about this more once we have solidified deadlines and dates. We will also have some excellent new free content up including guru interviews in the first part of the new year. So stay posted and...

Happy Holidays,
Briddick (formally known as Dthomas)

Labels: Attractology Interview, misc