Random insights from the third world...
| posted by Attractology Wednesday, October 22, 2008 | 0 Comments |
Greetings from Costa Rica Everyone,
I have been here almost a week now and so far it has been absolutely amazing. There's breathtaking scenery, beautiful women, amazing weather and a completely different way of life than the one I am accustomed to. I feel truly blessed!
One thing I've noticed is that everyone for the most part is friendly down here. However, there is a difference between those who are being nice because they simply choose to be and those who are trying to get something from you (mostly money).
What is interesting is that it is so easy to tell when someone is trying to get something from you or not. Their core intention is so easily visible to the point where the second they start making their way towards, you know exactly what they are trying to do. And if even for a second you make eye contact or acknowledge their existence, they are on a direct course to come to talk to you.
And talk about game-these guys are the best. Never do they start off my mentioning the product they have to offer. No, they start off by asking you where you are from and trying to relate to you in some way. At that point, they say something along the lines of "well listen friend, I usually sell x for 30 bucks but for you 20 bucks. what do you say?" It happened so often that I could usually tell the moment they looked at me, that they saw a potential sale rather than a person. And no matter how good their sales pitch, I could only wait for an opportunity to say "No, sorry, I don't want what you are offering. Please leave me alone now!"
Does this scenario ring a bell in a different arena? Women in clubs??? Fuck yes!
When you approach with a intent to sell (yourself), women of beauty can generally smell it a mile away. It becomes a sixth sense to them. And even before you've opened your mouth, you've been slotted into the category of "one of those guys"
and no matter how colorful and charming your words are, the only thought that will be crossing her mind is "how do I get him to leave?"
This is why there is no such thing as a perfect line. If the non verbal communication is hinting that you are NEEDING, trying to get something, sell something, HAVE sex with her, etc she won't even hear the words coming from your mouth. She will only be anticipating the predictable moment when you start to pry or force the interaction by asking trivial 'where are you from?, what do you do?' questions or asking for her number.
The women may even think you are hot, sexy and attractive but there is something about predictable, NEEDY behavior that breeds contempt and kills attraction....no matter how good looking you are.
There are basically two ways around this dillemma. You can either 1) fake it very well aka hide your intent via opeing with an opinion opener or something along those lines and then display active disinterest until she becomes attracted
or ...you can lose your NEEDING and go in with an intention to GIVE
When this happens, whether you get sex, a new girlfriend, or even just the validation from a women, at a core level, these things have ZERO power over you. They become a consequence of BEING, another good moment among all the other good moments. In this space, approaching becomes a choice rather than a neccesity. Attraction becomes a thoughtless, natural process. And no longer are you at the whims of a hungry ego that constantly ASSUMES more is NEEDED than the present moment has to offer.
This is by far the best way to approach and interact with a women-when you have a core intention to GIVE rather than TAKE or recieve.
Hopefully I'll get a chance to write again soon. cheers!
Pura Vida
-Dthomas
I have been here almost a week now and so far it has been absolutely amazing. There's breathtaking scenery, beautiful women, amazing weather and a completely different way of life than the one I am accustomed to. I feel truly blessed!
One thing I've noticed is that everyone for the most part is friendly down here. However, there is a difference between those who are being nice because they simply choose to be and those who are trying to get something from you (mostly money).
What is interesting is that it is so easy to tell when someone is trying to get something from you or not. Their core intention is so easily visible to the point where the second they start making their way towards, you know exactly what they are trying to do. And if even for a second you make eye contact or acknowledge their existence, they are on a direct course to come to talk to you.
And talk about game-these guys are the best. Never do they start off my mentioning the product they have to offer. No, they start off by asking you where you are from and trying to relate to you in some way. At that point, they say something along the lines of "well listen friend, I usually sell x for 30 bucks but for you 20 bucks. what do you say?" It happened so often that I could usually tell the moment they looked at me, that they saw a potential sale rather than a person. And no matter how good their sales pitch, I could only wait for an opportunity to say "No, sorry, I don't want what you are offering. Please leave me alone now!"
Does this scenario ring a bell in a different arena? Women in clubs??? Fuck yes!
When you approach with a intent to sell (yourself), women of beauty can generally smell it a mile away. It becomes a sixth sense to them. And even before you've opened your mouth, you've been slotted into the category of "one of those guys"
and no matter how colorful and charming your words are, the only thought that will be crossing her mind is "how do I get him to leave?"
This is why there is no such thing as a perfect line. If the non verbal communication is hinting that you are NEEDING, trying to get something, sell something, HAVE sex with her, etc she won't even hear the words coming from your mouth. She will only be anticipating the predictable moment when you start to pry or force the interaction by asking trivial 'where are you from?, what do you do?' questions or asking for her number.
The women may even think you are hot, sexy and attractive but there is something about predictable, NEEDY behavior that breeds contempt and kills attraction....no matter how good looking you are.
There are basically two ways around this dillemma. You can either 1) fake it very well aka hide your intent via opeing with an opinion opener or something along those lines and then display active disinterest until she becomes attracted
or ...you can lose your NEEDING and go in with an intention to GIVE
When this happens, whether you get sex, a new girlfriend, or even just the validation from a women, at a core level, these things have ZERO power over you. They become a consequence of BEING, another good moment among all the other good moments. In this space, approaching becomes a choice rather than a neccesity. Attraction becomes a thoughtless, natural process. And no longer are you at the whims of a hungry ego that constantly ASSUMES more is NEEDED than the present moment has to offer.
This is by far the best way to approach and interact with a women-when you have a core intention to GIVE rather than TAKE or recieve.
Hopefully I'll get a chance to write again soon. cheers!
Pura Vida
-Dthomas
Labels: core intention, inner game, neediness, psychology